So on Facebook as of late I've been dealing with more than the usual hateful spiteful fervor. The feedback as of late keeps referencing everything I'm not which i find absolutely abhorrent. I'm not against paid services but that's not MY personal choice. Just because a woman can dress up for herself and stand up for herself DOES NOT entail a price tag. I've earned my narrative on my platforms and all along it was my story and message sans price tag. That kind of mentality in itself i find grotesque as i also find entitlement that because I'm an outspoken advocate for many things that those should be fodder for insult. I've EARNED my stripes and owe nobody anything. This is for ME. Why should you the viewer misalign my story for it to fit YOUR complex and small minded ideas of a female perspective and narrative.
I was bullied from kindergarten until my high school education. I suffered from agoraphobia for a few years post high school due to being threatened just for being and looking like me. Through ALL this my father was my cheerleader and was proud of everything i do and even though he's now in heaven i hold that standard of care and love very high and vow to keep that pride. I think the people who question any of my story or authenticity need to question what's really going on within themselves. Your perception of women is not EVERY woman. To be vocal and outspoken on bullying and mental illness is my platform. I stay true on all my intention and motivation. When people claim to know you It's bullshit...you know a twisted stereotype you've created to template every woman who challenges you into a teeny box of hate. I truly feel sorry for those men because my story has always been about outreach and communication. When you say your shit out loud you take away it's power to hurt you. On my pages I've chosen to take away my fears of body image, mental illness, stigma and spit in it's face.
I'm not perfect. Fuck my life i don't even think I'm pretty but I'll be damned if i don't conquer shit and be a strong ass bitch. I don't need compliments I've always said because I'm my own champion in the fact I'm a survivor of many things.....as we all are. Instead of spewing venom from behind keyboard panels LOOK but LISTEN. A woman is not just a picture but a lifetime of pain to get there. Just like any guy who can't crack a smile or one that smiles so brightly meanwhile he's dying inside. Pictures are our business cards in life to show people somehow we're ok and we've made it. How many family pictures have you seen all smiles not knowing the people were hurting each other at home? That was my father. The most gentle sensitive man and i had the privilege to be his daughter. When i had not one friend i only needed his laughter and warm smile to remind me i was loved no matter what i looked like.
I don't risk putting that legacy of love at risk. I share
my story in hopes maybe people can relate be it in being bullied, weight loss or depression. Too many people seal away all that and damn they become toxic to those they love and to themselves.
Assume you know me. YOU DON'T. I don't know any of you either but isn't that what it's about??? Communication. Feeling less alone in a fucked up world. Taking YOUR strength and helping others find their own. Wow. All for free. No Snapchat. No Onlyfans. Nothing. Don't assign my value of my story to undressed tits because i don't assign your value to what's between your legs. Just like women can hurt men do too.....It's a 50/50 struggle and because of my dad i know firsthand. So STOP the hate. STOP the assumptions. Relate to someone in your life.
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